


Red Wasted

by theReal_Lumpy_Space_Princess



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Dirty Thoughts, F/M, Friendship/Love, Masturbation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:11:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2759159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theReal_Lumpy_Space_Princess/pseuds/theReal_Lumpy_Space_Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iris is still reeling from Barry's confession and trying to make sense of all her swirling emotions. Can she see Barry as more than a brotherly figure? She's never really thought about it until now.</p><p>"Thank god her skin was so flushed with her arousal or else Eddie would have been able to see her go red with guilt instantly."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Wasted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kanjogirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanjogirl/gifts).



> I haven't written fanfic in nearly ten years but last week's episode hit me like a ton of bricks with the feels and planted this little nugget in my head. This one goes out to anyone who has ever taken a gamble on love, who chose what their heart needed instead of what it just wanted. Also for kanjogirl, who I read likes to see our favorite characters rub one off on occasion.

Iris West took another sip from her wine glass as she tucked her legs under her on Eddie's couch and stared at nothing.  
  
 _Another late night, for once I'm actually glad._

It had been nearly two days since Barry dropped the bomb and told her he loves her, and Iris was still trying to process it all. The bottle of wine she brought with to Eddie's apartment, a particularly delicious Carmenere, was nearly empty and her mind was finally starting to quiet. This is the first moment she's had to herself since Barry left the West home two nights ago.

He actually loves her. Like, _loves her_ loves her. She definitely felt like an idiot for not even noticing, they were best friends! She's fluent in Barry Allen. Sure, that sounds cliche as hell but what does that say about her investigative journalism skills?

 Ego aside, Iris was more torn than she'd care to be comfortable with. There had been a few weeks in high school when she developed a small crush on her foster brother before she chalked it up to teenage hormones. She found herself touching his arm more for no real reason, making any excuse to hug him, and there was that week where her too-big smile rivaled even his and just about everything he said made her grin like an idiot. Her best friend who became kind of a brother to her was turning into a man and she just seemed to realize it. That was the moment Iris became aware of her own femininity, like _really_ aware of what those sex ed classes were talking about, or the mating rituals of some exotic species Barry would excitedly tell her about. Feeling those first pangs of sexual tension about Barry of all people scared the shit out of her. Iris redirected her desires to a safer, less awkward target on their school's soccer team after that.

Eddie was supposed to be home an hour ago and he hasn't even sent a text saying when he'd be leaving. Iris didn't even feel bad as the last of the bottle made it's way into her glass before she pulled her sweater over her bare knees. Since his confession, a lot of things were finally starting to click with Iris. There had been more than a few times she noticed his sidelong glances, a blush here and there, and the way he looked at her the night of their junior prom. Back then she didn't think much of them or she just ignored them thinking she was imagining things. Now it felt like her entire life, or at least the last 15 years, was a lie or somehow different now that she knows how he felt all along. Suddenly the context of every conversation, every hug and kiss on the cheek has new meaning. Barry Allen was at it again, causing these seismic shifts in her life. First by moving in with the West family, then being in a coma and dying a few times over the course of ten months only to bounce back to life like nothing happened. It was unreal. _He_ was unreal.

_But still true to himself. Late as goddamn always, Barry._

She took another long sip.

Where was that bitterness coming from? Was she mad because he waited so long to tell her, or because of his timing since her and Eddie decided to move in? Maybe both. Probably.

 _Fuck._  
  
Eddie is perfect. He's super hot, treats her well and is generous in bed. He's tenacious, a great detective and super sweet when she's the only one around. She loves him, really, and up until 36 hours ago was beyond excited to move in with him. But now her heart's a mess and she just wants to be alone with her thoughts until she straightens out her feelings. The last thing she wants to do is put on a happy face for Eddie while planning where they're going to put her furniture and how to decorate. But why is she even doubting her relationship with Eddie when this should be so cut and dry?

She feels for Barry. It couldn't have been easy for him to tell her he-- to tell her how he feels, especially after all these years. Waking up from a coma and learning that the woman he loves was in a relationship with someone else must have been devastating and all Iris can feel is guilt. Guilt for making her best friend, someone she loves dearly, feel such pain. As stunned as she was by his admission, she had to restrain herself from giving him a hug. He was hurting and so vulnerable and she just wanted to hug him like she always did to make it better but this time she couldn't.

Things are more complicated now. Which confuses the hell out of her because when were feelings and Barry ever confusing? She had him compartmentalized as "best friend, brother-type" since her realization in high school that it was just hormones, but what if it wasn't? Maybe what she felt wasn't tension so much as potential? It could have been her proximity to Barry, the fact that they lived together and went to school together and kept each other company when Joe worked late that she fixated on him. Fixated on his voice as it started to change halfway through sophomore year and developed in to a bit of a baritone when he spoke quietly in her ear as he translated some sciency jargon during a video on mitosis.

_Mmmm yes, that voice.  
_

She distinctly remembered the shivers it sent down her spine and how she had to play it off as catching a chill in the lab. 

Could she ever be with Barry? It's a little weird to think about but Iris is surprised she's not as put off on the idea as she'd expected she'd be. She was always telling him what a great catch he is. Iris chuckled at the irony. Such a great catch, she tells him, and she's the one who fails to take him off the market for herself.

 _Oh, I am so dense_ she derides herself.

Iris leaned back on the couch after setting her wine glass on the side table. After a few deep breaths she forced herself to dredge up those few dreams she had about Barry when he went off to college. Back then she figured they were just her brain's way of making up for his absence even though they spoke most days. There had been the one where she kissed him slowly on the lips the day he moved out, instead of just on his cheek. That one was sweet and made her feel warm when she woke up. In another dream they were on his college campus and he was showing her distant galaxies in the planetarium. Barry had given her and Joe a tour earlier during Family Week and her stomach did a little flip when he stood behind her to point out her astrological sign in the cosmos. That feeling of his breath on her neck and his fingers gently guiding her to the constellation translated perfectly into her dream and she reveled in it in a way she couldn't with her dad and Barry standing there. Iris chalked that one up to being hot for an older guy. Sure, Barry was always a little older than her but he was in college and that made things a little different, wouldn't it? The last one wasn't a dream so much as a recurring memory with different outcomes. One time,  _was it in senior year when Barry was visiting from school?,_   Iris accidentally walked in on Barry after he got out of the shower, and immediately ran away apologizing. Thankfully the mirror was fogged up and he managed to turn his back as he wrapped the towel around his hips so she didn't see anything. While seeing _it_   would have definitely scarred her, Iris couldn't help but fill in the blanks in her room after that and relive the .gif that played over and over again in her head. For weeks the outcome of that memory changed. The first time she dreamed it, she was bold and quietly shut the door behind her. He'd stammer a bit and ask what she's doing when she would grab him by the neck and slowly pull his face towards hers without breaking eye contact. Heavy petting and grinding would ensue against the sink counter before Barry would start divesting Iris of her clothing and drive her senseless on the spot. Another time she dreamed it, she knocked first and he let her come in anyway while he just wore the towel. She reached for her toothbrush while he moisturized his face and went about their morning rituals. For some reason it wasn't awkward, like an invasion of the others' privacy. It was intimate on an entirely different level that she couldn't put into words.

Even these few years later she can perfectly picture Barry's hunched posture and dimples on his lower back as he covered himself. Iris smiled at the thought. They had gone swimming so many times before, how did being in a towel make seeing him shirtless somehow different?

_Mmm, shirtless Barry. Okay, now I know I'm drunk._

While his frame and stature did not meet her typical MO when it came to finding suitors (the thought of Eddie's strong legs around her, grounding her to him can be enough to undo her sometimes), Iris still found Barry kinda hot. While he wasn't buff, he was still toned and strong. She could see some well defined muscles in his back as well as a smattering of birth marks. Or were they freckles? Whatever they were, Iris suddenly thought about kissing each and every one of them. 

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes as she slipped her hand between her thighs and she rubbed her legs together.  _Drunk and turned on, I guess._ _I_ _see now why I chose to bury those particular dreams._

Would her and Barry make good lovers or is this one of those "grass is greener" situations where the fantasy is better than the reality and he's really just as awkward in bed as she can guess? _Yikes. That would definitely destroy our friendship because no one can revert back to being "just friends" after being romantically involved._ Iris never wants to lose Barry. If they were to pursue a "them" and it didn't work out she didn't think they could ever recover. On the other hand, if it did work out....but Iris wasn't sure she could be ready to risk what they have now. She has Eddie's love, that should be enough. They're content and happy, why destroy that certainty for the unknown at such a high risk?

 _Because the reward is much better than "content" and "happy"._ Unbidden and without remorse the memory of Barry telling Iris he loved her crashed down on her. From the way his chest reverberated against hers while they hugged to the way his expression and tone changed when he told her he was _in_ love with her since before he knew what love was, everything about that slice in time consumed her and Iris couldn't help but cry, then and now. She hated feeling this tormented. She loved Barry, it's not unthinkable to believe that maybe that love could continue to grow deeper in a meaningful way. She loved Eddie too, was _in_ love with him, which was why she didn't act impulsively the other night. Though she hadn't thought about Barry "in that way" since her fleeting crush in high school, those feelings of potential and anticipation she had once felt resurfaced and she just wanted to kiss him, or him kiss her (even though he's too much the gentleman to kiss a lady who's spoken for, which turns her on just the same).

Iris feels her heart speed up at the thought of finally kissing Barry. He's got that gorgeous smile and those birth marks, or freckles whatever, dotted on his face and neck. Oh yes, she could take her time holding his face, alternating between tenderly kissing those little spots and licking from one to the other and ending on a kiss like connect the dots. Iris's fingers start to press up against her pubic bone to smooth away some of that tingly feeling. She starts pushing firmer strokes downward when the image of him in a towel pops in her head again, and she's kissing the freckles on his collar bone, his sternum, solar plexus and hips. No longer able to stand it, she finally sticks her hand under the waistband of her panties and leans further back into Eddie's couch. 

She's warm and wet and can feel it without even separating her folds for better access. Iris pauses before sweeping her middle finger over her clit and has to bite back a moan at the sensation. Yeah, she can definitely see she'd have no problem getting romantic with Barry if just her fantasies turned her on this much. Slowly, she spreads her legs further apart so she can get better leverage and massage the inside of her lips with her juices. She sees Barry again, he's pulling her back up by the elbows and pinning her against the bathroom counter. For a second he hesitates and looks in her eyes to make sure that she is okay where this is going.

_I trust you, Barry._

Iris's fingers start moving quicker in and out of her and around her clit, gently squeezing it between two fingers on occasion until it gave a little throb. Barry pressed his hips into hers while ravishing her with kisses on her face and neck. His free hand roamed around her waist and up her t-shirt to massage her breast before pinching the nipple. It was at that moment when she gave her own breast a little squeeze that she finally heard Eddie and nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Wow, babe. Couldn't wait for me to get home before you started the party?" Eddie was leaning casually against the door frame with his arms crossed and a very smug and crooked grin on his face.

Thank god her skin was so flushed with her arousal or else Eddie would have seen her go red with guilt instantly. _Busted._ Iris was barely quick enough to school her features before speaking. 

"You enjoying the show, Mr. Thawne?" she lowered her gaze and looked up at him through her lashes and hooded eyes. She kept her hand in her panties though it stopped moving when he announced himself. _When did he even get here? Shit, keep it together, Iris. Don't let him read you._

Eddie laughed as he pushed himself off the the wall and walked towards her. "Most definitely, yes." He looked at the empty bottle of wine on the coffee table and the flush on her cheeks. "Are you drunk, Iris?" 

"Mmmaybe. Yes? I don't know. How much is in a bottle?" _Well at least I can use my buzz to my benefit. FUCK what the fuck am I gonna do? Play it cool..._

Eddie sat down next to Iris, reached for her hand and gave her fingers a deliberate sniff before sucking the tips of each one. Well, she was super turned on again. Still. Her only recourse was to go with it. If she was going to break up with Eddie and pursue something with Barry, it wasn't going to be tonight. She still had to make sense of a lot of things before going down that rabbit hole. For now she was drunk and horny and needed to deal with that first and foremost before any life altering decisions could be made. With at least that much decided, Iris twined her fingers with his as she hoisted herself into his lap and lost herself in Eddie that night.


End file.
